John has Aspergers. Now this page isn’t about John, but it’s important for you to know as he is sometimes referenced in the things we write. I am John’s step dad and Bella is his mom. When Bella and I met, I knew as much about autism as the average person. I mean, I’d seen Rain Man after all, and isn’t Bill Gates rumored to have autism? (Woo-hoo! We’re gonna be rich!)
It was obvious from the start that I had a LOT to learn about autism. So I did! I spent countless hours studying autism, and still do to this day. The biggest thing I learned was that there is a HUGE difference between how most people view those on the spectrum, and the reality of what things truly are. I often say that the difference is less than people think, but more than they’ll ever know.
This gap between reality and perception REALLY drives me nuts! People see a meltdown, they think it’s a tantrum. They see “bad” behaviors and think “bad parenting” rather than diagnosed ego centrism. They experience rigid thinking in it’s ultimate form when they’re told they stink so therefore must not shower, and don’t understand that the person on the spectrum isn’t being rude, they’re being honest as they see it and stating what they consider to be a fact without the constraints of social etiquette which they don’t even understand.
Then there’s the parents who are new to autism. You hear so many conflicting stories and don’t know what to expect, or what is real and what isn’t. And a LOT of what you read on websites is rehashed “technically correct” hogwash that is re-filtered and reworded by people just trying to make a website without ever having had any real experience with autism. Whereas much of it may be theoretically correct, it never seems to apply to your situation because it’s as they say; if you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism. The traits and conditions may be the same, but each person is a unique individual and they are as different from one another as…well…as any other people!
So no, this site isn’t about John and his autism. This site is for anyone who wants to learn more about autism in a down to earth way, with real life experiences to help anyone and everyone gain deeper understanding. The struggle is real, but it doesn’t always have to be a struggle. Our motto is to always live in faith and not in fear.
Joran Towers